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THE WEDDING NIGHT

There was a young woman, it seems, that was getting married. So she went and asked her mother for some advice about the Honeymoon night. "Mummy, what should I do on that night?" "What ever do you mean, dear?" her mother asked. "Well, I mean ... I'm imbarrased to ... you know ... undress infront of Charles." "Oh," her mother said, "That's not a problem. Men just "know" what to do when it comes to that sort of thing. I mean, your father knew and I suppose your grandfather knew ... When they have you in the room they'll say, ' Oh, I seem to have run out of cigarettes ...' and then they'll leave and you can get yourself all prettied up."

So, when the girl and her husband arrived in the hotel room she was waiting when suddendly the man said, "Hmmm. I seem to have run out of cigarettes. I'll go down and get some." No sooner had the door shut than she jumped and grabbed her suitcase, ripped off her clothes, put on her nightgown, fixed her make-up and hopped into bed, puffing up the pillows and spreading out the covers, all nice-like. Soon as she'd finished in walked the groom. He looked at her and said, "What are you doing there? We haven't even had lunch yet?"


THE FRISKY WIFE
A newly married husband asked his wife how she wanted to have him approach her. "Well," she said, "We'll play hide-and-seek. I'll hide and you can look for me. When you find me then you may ... seduce me." "But what if I can't find you?" "I'll be in the downstairs linen closet."
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