THE IRISH HORSE

It seems there was an Irishman wanting to buy himself a horse. So he went to the open market, which is a place in Ireland where people sell things, among which are ... horses. Well, he saw one that he liked and asked the price. Paddy, who was selling the horse said to him, "Well, now, I'll be sellin' you this horse but I feel there's something I need to tell you first." Well, the man wanted to know what that was. Paddy said, "Well, it seems he has a strange habbit of wantin' to sit on bananas." Now, the man thought Paddy was crazy! "Sit on bananas?" "Yes," Paddy said. "Seems he likes to sit on bananas." Now the man thought about this and realizing there weren't all that many bananas in the whole of Ireland figured it was a good bargin and he bought the horse.

As soon as he'd paid for the horse, he got on it and began to ride. Well, it was a good horse. It galloped across the market, it leaped over the hedges, it ran down the roads and jumped the fences and soon it began to approach a narrow stream. The man thought, "This is a grand horse. Surely it'll clear this small stream." When, all of a sudden, just as its hooves touched the water, it promptly came to halt and sat in the water!

The man went flying through the air and landed in a bush. He ripped his coat and put a nasty gash in his arm. But he pulled the horse up and got back on and galloped across the meadow, ran up the road, jumped the fences, leaped over the hedges and galloped across the market until he stopped it right by Paddy!

The man jumped off the horse and began to yell, "What sort of a stupid animal did you sell me?" "Well," began Paddy, "I told you she was a bit strange ... that she liked to sit on bananas, didn't I?" "WHAT?" shouted the man? "Bananas? I galloped her across the market, I leaped her over hedges, ran her up the road, jumped her over fences and when I came to a small stream she stopped dead in her tracks and sat in the water! I tore my coat and gashed my arm!" "Ooooh," began Paddy. "I forgot to tell you ... she also likes to sit on fishes ..."

Back to: DAVE ALLEN

NEXT FUNNY STORY